“Welcome to LifeSwap™ Station 7-B Alpha, a subsidiary of Existence Enterprises, LLC and the ReincarCorp Genetic Catalog! LifeSwap™ prides itself on developing robust suites of proprietary psycho-physical casings and emotional registers guaranteed to last up to 85 years or half your genetic code back! Our records indicate you have reached your contractual limit for LifeSwaps™ at this time (35): Your current incarnation will expire in four months, nine days, sixteen hours, and eleven seconds. If you feel your Time On Earth© has been unduly curtailed, that you are the victim of LifeFraud™, or if you wish to file a Deity-of-Your-Choice Appeal, please contact our legal department at the address provided (Average Response Time: 5 – 7 months).”


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