The Happiness Machine will run on happiness — that goes without saying. It will tour the world with its creator, and bring joy to a million suffering souls, and remind a million others that their heaviest problems are graciously, inconsequentially toothless. Half a decade on and the Happiness Machine joins the echelons of a la mode pocket gadgets depreciating in spiritual value by the quarter. Every so often, the magazines and newscasters will titillate us with rumors of a Sadness Machine, but the evidence always surfaces as a hoax, and you watch our smiling faces shrivel and dry and crack from the dream of it, don’t you, the sodding grinning git you’ve become.



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